Κυριακή, 29 Νοεμβρίου 2015
...changing that by starting with myself. Working on myself. Digging deep and cutting it all out.
...getting better. Although it feels like getting worse at first, eventually it starts to make sense.
...learning my self. What has the past taught me, carved me into? And how have I progressed into someone better?
...realizing what I want. It usually starts with what you don't want and in a delicate dance of elimination, you take it from there.
...working towards my goals. Slowly, but with loyalty and dedication. No bullshitting. No negative thoughts. My eye is on the prize.
...stronger. Happier. Calmer. Confident.
...so over this shit it would blow your mind. And although I'm still a work in progress, I am, in a way...
Πέμπτη, 26 Νοεμβρίου 2015
Κυριακή, 15 Νοεμβρίου 2015
I had reached a point where my sadness, bitterness, anger, got the best of me. So much, that I almost identified with that and it was rotting me inside out.
I really can't put my finger on the exact moment or cause, but I just told myself I had to snap out of it.
Going home, helped. A lot.
But after I returned I had to keep it up. Life coaching, confession, therapy, aura cleansing, you name it, I've done it.
And I've managed to reach that magical inner peace you find in "here and now".
It's almost as if I reset myself to my default settings. I've made a cautious decision to let go of all the negative feelings and emotions people and situations have caused me. And in the cases I could not let go of that negativity, I actively turned that into something positive.
I almost feel naive.
But it's alright.
This pained ego, this need to constantly be right and paid back when wronged, has proved too much of a burden to keep holding onto and carrying around with me.
I let go.
I love you but your burdens are your burdens and I hope you find the light and strength within you to carry them but I simply cannot do that for you anymore.
It pained me what you did, how you did not treat me nicely but I forgive you with all my heart and wish you well.
I no longer want to be bitter so please stop trying to feed off me. I can no longer tolerate parasitic relationships and situations in my life.
What has happened, has happened and is gone and done. And the hardest part was forgiving myself for it. But it's done. So peace has to be made.
As for the future? I don't know. I'm not exactly positive or optimistic about it. I'm not quite sure I contemplate it really.
I'm just here. Now.
Like, right now.
And I'm alright.