I was watching this series the other day and one of the characters said this -brilliant- thing that literally made me click and it gave me a new found sense of understanding and more importantly, clarity.
"You know how, in that Wizard of Oz movie.... that girl, Dorothy, how she goes on this amazing adventure that's all in glorious Technicolor, right? And then she ends up back on the farm in boring black and white. That's how it was with this woman. Before her, I knew exactly how my life was going to go. And then I met her, and suddenly I could see a totally different future for myself. In color. Once you've seen Oz, who wants to go back to Kansas?"
Don't know about you, but black and white doesn't do the trick for me anymore.
So you're driving around in your car, the radio is on, and this song you sorta kinda like comes on and it kinda sorta brightens your moment of driving despair. But you're like 10 seconds in and you get curious; what if I'm missing out on something better?
So, even though the song on the station you're tuned into is one you sorta kinda really like, you inevitably push the buttons on the tab just because they're there. I mean it's so simple. It'll only be a moment. So all of a sudden, you're radio zapping, offering a precious 2 or 3 seconds on each button, just browsing in case there is something better on the airwaves in that moment.
Maybe you find it.
And maybe you don't.
Maybe you just tune in to what you were initially listening to, you know that song you kinda sorta really like as you're driving to wherever you are bound to.
You might even pop in a CD or plug in your mp3 player. But every couple of minutes, you tune it and change stations, just in case you find what you don't even know what you're looking for.
That thing that will make you click.
And you know when you find it, I mean, you have to know! It's when you may mutter to yourself 'Oh yeah!' as you turn up the volume, and you smile stupidly at yourself as you sing along and think of the last time that particular song meant something to you. Or brought back a certain memory.
But you also know you've found that thing you didn't even know you were looking for, when you take a sharp breath, maybe hold it for a second or two, light a cigarette and notice your eyes are watering and you get agitated cause you're stuck at a red light and you just wanna hit gas with that tune blaring to muffle out your sobs.
Either way.
In that moment, you can't even consider tuning in to somewhere else, even for a split second, cause you are so caught up in the moment. And you know, that nothing else could top that particular song.
You know, in that moment, who you are and what you need.
And sometimes, all you need, is 3 brave honest minutes,
This thing happened to me once in the movies and I've come to believe that it couldn't describe my life more accurately.
So the movies are pretty packed that night, could barely find a seat with my friend and people kept on coming through the stairs.
Me and my friend spotted a couple of seats in the far end of the aisle, towards the wall, so we squeeze and "please" and "thank you" our way through the packed aisle to get the seats we spotted near the wall.
But there were three seats actually and it was only two of us, and just that moment I spot a group of three people, looking around desperately for somewhere to sit all together.
I noticed, in the aisle right in front of us, were two empty seats, so being the person I am, I get up, offer our three seats to the three strangers standing on the stairs, wondering where the hell are they gonna sit. They accept happily -obviously- and I get up with my friend to move an aisle forward.
(Are you following by the way or am I talking too fast?)
Of course I'm not gonna jump over the seats to the aisle bellow, duh, I have manners, so my friend and I squeeze and "please" and "thank you" our way out of that aisle, back on the stairs to move an aisle down.
The moment we are about to squeeze and "please" and "thank you" our way on the aisle bellow, this guy literally comes out of nowhere, jumps over the seats, and takes the seats we so patiently tried to get to, while his lady friend pushes by us to get through to her -rude- guy friend who already secured the seats for them.
And I got sooo annoyed.
But that lasted for like 3 seconds, cause then I felt so hurt because it felt really unfair. I mean, we played by the rules, we went by the book, and some random guy -with insanely long legs apparently- just decided to take a short cut, jumped over the seats and all the aisles and got there first.
And actually ended up getting the seats!
Sometimes, I feel exactly like that in my professional life. You play by the rules, you do the right thing, but someone almost always knows a short cut.
And you're standing on the stairs, in a room full of people staring at you, with a box of pop corn in hand, with nowhere to go and you could not feel pathetic enough.
I really find this world to be a very scary place sometimes.
