Something's Gotta Give

Do you ever get scared?

The kind of scared that makes your blood run cold, wondering if and when you took that wrong turn in life? Or is it just being scared of what's around the corner?

Do you ever get that kind of scared?

Or is it just me? My insecurities and my vulnerabilities?

I get scared. I hate admitting it but sometimes, I'm scared shitless.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm taking myself too seriously. Maybe I just need to fuck 'em all and loosen up. Other times I'm scared that I'm not good enough and it's only a matter of time before someone better comes along. And I'm left alone. And then comes that other feeling, that I wanna be the best of the best, and I feel so much pressure.

So yeah, sometimes I get scared.

I know it begins and ends with me. And when I'm feeling like this I keep telling myself "the race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself".

*deep breath*

*cocktail sip*

And the other thing... You and me..? Yeah.. that thing. I know I'll be over it 100% once I manage to forgive myself. I'm angry, but it's not you. It's me. I'm angry at myself. So yeah, I'll be over the bitterness and everything once I manage to cut myself some slack and forgive me. For hanging on. For losing myself in those eyes. For hoping that maybe you were the one. For believing it. For letting you in. Yeah, I'm working on it.

So yeah, sometimes I get scared.

But something's gotta give eh?