That's why I say "my house" and I feel it to the bone.
I've always been a very independent and self sufficient spirit. I've also been an outspoken one. I grew up in house where it didn't matter if I was a boy or a girl because I was brought up to believe in and respect equality. I grew up in a country that respects and believes in equality, gender-wise, sex-wise, religion-wise. Therefore, I have learnt to respect others, but I also demand respect back.
In my work environment, I often feel that I am competing against my gender. As if I have to prove that because I am a woman, I can be capable. And I believe I have been doing pretty well so far. But at times of upheaval, I feel that my skills, my motives, my personality even, come into question. As I said, I'm an outspoken confident individual. Which is great if you're a man, but if you're a woman, these characteristics are often met by scrutiny.
If I go in a meeting and they don't like what they hear, my mental or hormonal stability are questioned. If I have ambitions and work (keyword, work) to achieve them, I must be money driven or sleeping with the boss. And in cases were I express my anger or disapproval, I'm just a woman that over-estimates herself.
In the above cases, if I were a man, we'd probably get into a heated argument for 3 minutes, before opening a bottle of scotch and toasting each other.
Of course I cannot change the world. I'd be a fool to even consider myself capable of doing that. However, I have a choice; and I choose to be me, stand up for what I believe in, even in cases where it will backfire. Because if I succumb once to whatever stereotype they think I should fit in and stay put, I'll just be opening the road for them to keep on doing it.
I demand respect. But I understand that it's something that is earned. And noone respects a pushover.
And God knows I've never been one.
So here I am, wondering what tomorrow will bring. Feeling insecure, but confident in what I have done and how I have handled it. It disappoints me that I have been doubted because I'm not one of the boys. But for the past 9 years I've been a one-woman-show in a man's world.
And I think that says a lot about me.
honey, that's life wherever you go. Whatever you do. Okay, maybe not whatever, but in most cases, that's it. We have to fight to gain respect. And yea, I love that I get some leeway sometimes because I am a woman, but the truth is, that shouldn't make me happy. Me doing a good job shouldn't make others surprisingly pleased. I don't want accolades because as a woman, I did things "like a man." But it will take ALOT for women to be respected and seen straight off the bat in the same way as men. In my kind of law (I am a lawyer), there is a famous case about a woman who claimed to be discriminated against because she wasn't feminine enough, and yet to survive in her job she had to act like a man - that was how she could get ahead. The court ruled that stereotyping women was wrong - and it was discrimination. But you don't see a major change, not really. And so we are stuck fighting for ourselves and our rights. But keep your head high - because you CAN succeed, and you are. And it will be on your terms, because you deserve it. Not because you are a woman acting like a man.
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήWell I certainly do not act like a man; I merely act like a professional and human being. But sometimes, you see a difference in response, depending on whether you are a man or a woman from your peers and/or bosses even. That is what I find disturbing and that's what I won't tolerate.
Διαγραφήτέλειο κοπέλλα μου!!!
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήGet on those heels and keep at it. xx
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήCan't accuse me of not trying
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