I Write My Brightest At My Darkest

Maybe I fit in better at the dark side.

That's where my mind and soul receive an uncontrollable adrenaline rush, work in overdrive and burst open to the essence of my truth.

Because how deep can you go when your life and your viewpoints are all about unicorns and rainbows, right?

Maybe I forgot how it is to be.... undamaged. Yeah, that's exactly it; I forgot how it feels to be completely undamaged, unbroken and unflawed.

And I understand that I will never be the girl I once was. But it isn't necessarily a bad thing as it had to happen in order to become the woman I am. Or trying to be.

I can live with that.

With a couple of cocktails.

It's just hard for me now to genuinely expect and believe that something lovely will happen, without it exploding in my face or falling apart and shredding me to endless pieces of disappointment. I'm always wondering now "What's the catch?".

I think I write my brightest at my darkest.

"What do you mean?" you ask.

That if you break my heart again I'll shoot you right in the head and probably get a best seller out of it.

*dark side grin*