The Urban Myth

I don't think I ever believed in the traditional concept of heaven and hell. Mainly because I believe that this world we live in is heaven and hell. "Η κόλαση είναι οι άλλοι" λέει ο Σάρτρ. And I couldn't agree more. So, it all comes down to us, our choices, our ways, our actions to determine whether we end up in heaven or hell.

And at times in limbo, where that's where someone can currently find me.

You know that too-good-to-be-true quality my exes have to say about me? Although it seems to get me into emotional trouble (and heartache) for some reason it translates beautifully with my friends. They feel comfortable to talk to me, confide in me, tell me anything, their deepest, darkest secrets and then ask for my advice.

You know those movies or tv shows, where you see a person in love with someone, but are in a relationship with another person? I thought it was a dramatic gimmick, you know, something to heighten the viewer's excitement before love came rushing in and conquered it all. Bullshit. The world is made up of two types of people: the ones that believe in love and those who don't. Some never did, some others stopped and gave up after some emotional hiccups. The point is, everyone wants someone to love and love them back. But sometimes, getting those two synced is quite the challenge.

Three friends of mine have told me that they are not happy with their person, mainly because it's not za za zoo. But they're not willing to break up because "it's ok". They're not having a bad time. Just an ok one. They'd love to have a great time. But they're settling for ok. They have been in love in the past, you see their eyes sparkling when they describe the emotion they shared with that person, and yet they don't seem eager to have that again. They settle for ok.

I find it weird and disturbing. But I can't help but wonder, are they on to something? Am I juvenile and naive to still believe in the concept? That you find that certain someone that gives you butterflies and live happily ever after? Should you measure the worth of your relationship by how many boxes a person ticks? Even without the butterflies? Is it even possible to have both? Nicely ticked boxes and butterflies? Or is that just a myth and Disney should be sued for false projections of reality?

No wonder I have so much drama; I refuse to settle. No wonder I stay single for so long; I don't do crutch relationships, I don't like being with someone until someone better comes along.

Or do I really have my expectations all screwed up?

But on the other hand, I see happy couples. Not many, that much I can tell you, but there are a few that do seem to have that thing; that sparkle, those butterflies and ticked boxes. Lucky timing? Refusal to compromise? I don't know, but somehow they have been blessed with everything their heart desired.

I don't know who's right or wrong or who has it better. What I do know, is myself. What I want and what I need from my life. How I'd like my life to be. So yeah, there are hiccups, there are tears and heartache. There's doubt and pain and lonely nights. But I do believe in love. I really do. Inspite of my cynicism, I do believe in love. No matter how stupid, naive or outdated it seems to certain people. I really believe in love. And in the power it carries.

So you can tick all the boxes you like, but if it ain't love, I ain't buying it.