Hanging On In There

Yeah, I get the feeling that this is probably happening quite often.

I'm.... hanging on in there.

I had some bad days lately, but I'm a lot calmer today. I think I used up all my feelings for this week -if there can be such a thing, running out of feelings for a week, like there's some kind of limit? I don't know, it just feels that way. I guess I'm just tired.

I'm under a lot of stress, I'm borderlining panic actually. I couldn't sleep, my heart was racing and there was an unending sensation that I couldn't breathe.

This stress- shit can kill you, now I understand.

So there I am, all messed up and panicking, so I go to church and light a candle asking for guidance, strength and help. And as I'm leaving, I can't stop thinking about a particular person, how much I'd like to speak to that person because they always make me feel better and understand me. And I'm thinking about this person as I'm backing out of the parking lot and trying to get into the road and guess what; I see that particular person driving by. I swear, I was like 'Damn, You heard me!'.

Και μιλάμε στο τηλέφωνο and all this stress and relief is rushing out of me, right through my eyes, I'm pouring my heart out and it feels better after a while. Πιο ξαλαφρωμένη. Τίποτα δεν άλλαξε, αλλά τουλάχιστον ένιωσα μια μικρή ανακούφιση.

So today I'm calmer. Touch wood, I hope I keep it up. *sigh*

I'm hanging on in there.

That's all I can do right now.