If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die.

Δευτέρα, 9 Μαΐου 2016

It Will Catch Up With You.

Life.

Time.

Mortality.

Are simply a few of the things on my mind on this otherwise quiet Sunday night.

A glass of wine.

And a photo album I haven't looked at in a long time.

It feels like it was so easy then. But was it, really? My parents were my age then. Did they have the worries and anxieties I have now? Was it harder or easier for them?

I can't help but wonder, looking at their young smiling faces, what was on their mind? I mean, really, behind the smiles and the hugs and the family vacations, were they scared? Were they content? Did they know where they were going or were they as restless and worried as I am now?

And then I see me, little me, and it feels so weird seeing me as a kid. My sibling as well. I've been a grown up for so long, it almost feels impossible I was once a child.

And my parents, so young and strong and dark haired then, and you look at them today, smiles still there, the love still there and yet, they look vulnerable.

To life.

To time.

To mortality.

As we are all, of course, but as long as you're young you don't seem to notice that much, right? I mean, you don't even realize it's gonna happen to you. How could it possibly happen to you?

The scare we had recently really put things into a somber perspective and I can't help but think, almost every time, is this the last time?

Last Christmas, last birthday, last Sunday?

I look at a picture, a family holiday somewhere hot apparently, almost 30 years ago, two young beautiful people and two very young children, all smiles and hugs. Is that still us? We look so different in photos now. So... grown up!

My parents had a family at my age. I can't even keep a plant alive. I'm with a suitcase in hand, one day I'm here, the next I'm not. And on this quiet Sunday night, I wonder, will I be happy and content when time catches up with me?

5 σχόλια:

  1. Και βέβαια θα είσαι χαρούμενη και θα νιώθεις ολοκληρωμένη. Να θυμάσαι τα pillowfights και την εξέλιξη τους:p

    ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφή
  2. You will be, επειδή δεν συμβιβαστικές πριν.
    Σίγουρα ήταν φοβισμένοι, ίσως όχι με τους ίδιους φόβους που θα είχαν τώρα, αλλά θα σου πουν ότι θα τα ξανάκαμναν. (after all, look at the kind of kid they raised).
    Και για το άλλο, για το scare... Προσπάθα να μεν έχεις τούτο το is it the last time, γιατί είναι consuming. Αντ'αυτού, που θα τους δείς, απλά άπλωσε στον καναπέ σαμπος και είναι δικός σου, and rest your feet on theirs. Just be there for a minute, and if something does happen in the end, well don't have the "ifs" or regrets. Cause it's done. And you were there.

    ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφή
    Απαντήσεις
    1. Αυτό κάνω πάντα, it's always at the back of my mind. Και τους αγακλιάζω και τους λέω πάντα ότι τους αγαπώ. Αλλά ξέρω ότι δεν είμαι έτοιμη, δεν έχω μάθει, και ξέρω ότι θα είναι τρομαχτικά τραυματικό.

      Διαγραφή
    2. My dear, you are never ready. Και ποτέ δεν συνηθίζεις, απλά προσπαθείς να δεχτείς και αντέχεις. Και πάεις πάρακάτω. Πάντα θα έχει κάτι που θα θέλεις να δείξεις. Πράματα που κατάφερες και ξέρεις ότι θα ήταν περήφανοι, και σίγουρα θα ήταν cause one way or the other, they shaped you or at least let you shape your self the right way.

      Διαγραφή