If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die.

Σάββατο, 27 Απριλίου 2013

Reset Your Preset

When I was little, I used to dream a lot. I had all these sorts of crazy, wild dreams but, call it naive because of my age, I believed in them to my bone. I had one dream in particular that I believed and wanted so badly, that the only thing that was standing between me and achieving it, were a few years until I reached 18.

By which time, shit happened and I wasn't so up for dreaming, let alone believing in it to the bone.

The thing is, I'm not the only one.This has probably happened to you too. Growing up. Growing up is not just about getting taller, getting a driving's licence and presumably getting wiser. Most of the times, it means losing your innocence. The reason why we dream so much as children and believe in those dreams, is because we are innocent. We're not afraid of those dreams, we don't care what anyone will think of them. We don't even think about the possibility of failing. We're innocent. Pure. Clean.

Undamaged.

Growing up, means you have doubts. You already have a (long) list of disappointments attached to your dream-making center. And if you're not careful, you gradually lose your ability to believe as well.

People sometimes ask me why didn't I do it; you know, that one big childhood dream I had. Why didn't I fly away and just do it. I can tell them any sort of excuse. Truth is, I got scared. I told myself I'm not good enough and that I'm bound to fail. I told myself it's too hard and too risky and that I'll be eaten alive. The only reason I told myself these things, is because others told me so, over the years.

I'd go to them, big bright eyed, with a smile, telling them that one day I'll do this and that. The shook their heads, maybe even laughed and told me it's hard. Told me that I'd probably be disappointed. One in particular said 'Καλύτερα να είσαι πρώτη στο χωριό παρά δεύτερη στην πόλη'. I still remember that, so vividly. And it sucks because that's exactly what I did. Επέλεξα να είμαι πρώτη στο χωριό, χωρίς καν να πάω στην πόλη.

I'm a little crazy these days. Lately I have a thing for getting out of my comfort zone. Trying. Daring. Believing even? And I'm writing down a resume and all these things I've done are staring back at me from a piece of paper and I wonder; did I do all this? Maybe I haven't been giving myself enough credit. Maybe I have underestimated myself and my abilities. And maybe, I forgot to listen to that inner child of mine one too many times.

Let me share with you a funny story; I've known Taurus for many years. From school. I was a child, he was a man. I was just about to enter puberty, he was just about to finish it. And I had a crush on him. I looked up to him and would blush everytime he spoke to me. Innocent puppy love. I never told him how I felt. I had told a friend about my crush and she said that it's silly, that he'll never be interested in me. And I thought yes, it is silly. Why would he ever be interested in me?

And here we are now, over a decade later; the child in me giggling with a twinkle in the eye and the woman I am, thinking that, yes I am damn worth the interest he has in me.

Life always has a way of surprising you, that much I know!

Anyway, the point that I'm trying to put out I guess is that, you never know. You never know how things are going to turn out. Good or bad. You don't get to know until you've tried. Until you've said the words. Given it a shot. Tested the waters.

Children should always, under all circumstances, be given love and support. No matter how foolish or naive their ambitions might seem. We adults should never, EVER, put them down. Disappoint them. Limit their dreams to our narrow-minded logic. We don't know better. Kids always know better, because they still have the innocence and ability to look at this harsh world through beautiful eyes.

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