If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die.

Κυριακή, 16 Ιουνίου 2013

The Urban Myth

I don't think I ever believed in the traditional concept of heaven and hell. Mainly because I believe that this world we live in is heaven and hell. "Η κόλαση είναι οι άλλοι" λέει ο Σάρτρ. And I couldn't agree more. So, it all comes down to us, our choices, our ways, our actions to determine whether we end up in heaven or hell.

And at times in limbo, where that's where someone can currently find me.

You know that too-good-to-be-true quality my exes have to say about me? Although it seems to get me into emotional trouble (and heartache) for some reason it translates beautifully with my friends. They feel comfortable to talk to me, confide in me, tell me anything, their deepest, darkest secrets and then ask for my advice.

You know those movies or tv shows, where you see a person in love with someone, but are in a relationship with another person? I thought it was a dramatic gimmick, you know, something to heighten the viewer's excitement before love came rushing in and conquered it all. Bullshit. The world is made up of two types of people: the ones that believe in love and those who don't. Some never did, some others stopped and gave up after some emotional hiccups. The point is, everyone wants someone to love and love them back. But sometimes, getting those two synced is quite the challenge.

Three friends of mine have told me that they are not happy with their person, mainly because it's not za za zoo. But they're not willing to break up because "it's ok". They're not having a bad time. Just an ok one. They'd love to have a great time. But they're settling for ok. They have been in love in the past, you see their eyes sparkling when they describe the emotion they shared with that person, and yet they don't seem eager to have that again. They settle for ok.

I find it weird and disturbing. But I can't help but wonder, are they on to something? Am I juvenile and naive to still believe in the concept? That you find that certain someone that gives you butterflies and live happily ever after? Should you measure the worth of your relationship by how many boxes a person ticks? Even without the butterflies? Is it even possible to have both? Nicely ticked boxes and butterflies? Or is that just a myth and Disney should be sued for false projections of reality?

No wonder I have so much drama; I refuse to settle. No wonder I stay single for so long; I don't do crutch relationships, I don't like being with someone until someone better comes along.

Or do I really have my expectations all screwed up?

But on the other hand, I see happy couples. Not many, that much I can tell you, but there are a few that do seem to have that thing; that sparkle, those butterflies and ticked boxes. Lucky timing? Refusal to compromise? I don't know, but somehow they have been blessed with everything their heart desired.

I don't know who's right or wrong or who has it better. What I do know, is myself. What I want and what I need from my life. How I'd like my life to be. So yeah, there are hiccups, there are tears and heartache. There's doubt and pain and lonely nights. But I do believe in love. I really do. Inspite of my cynicism, I do believe in love. No matter how stupid, naive or outdated it seems to certain people. I really believe in love. And in the power it carries.

So you can tick all the boxes you like, but if it ain't love, I ain't buying it.

10 σχόλια:

  1. Δεν νομίζω οι υψηλές προσδοκίες να είναι και αυτόματα λάθος ή μη ρεαλιστικές... Κάποιος ίσως και να πει ότι μετά το ζαζαζου περνά έτσι κι αλλιώς, αλλά βλέπω άτομα που μετά που χρόνια το έχουν σε μία πιο βαθιά μορφή κιόλας. In any case, εκείνα τα άτομα, δεν μένουν συχνά με μία σκέψη για το πως θα ήταν διαφορετικά αν το έβρισκαν; Η μετά απο χρόνια αποφασίζουν ότι είναι ώρα να κάνουν κάτι γιατί άλλο δεν...

    Έτσι κι αλλιώς το ζαζαζου δεν είναι εκείνο που ακόμα και μετά απο καιρό θέλεις να δώσεις ένα λουλούδι ή κάτι χωρίς να έχει επέτειο αλλά μόνο και μόνο επειδή έτσι; Η να θέλεις να χαμογελάσει απλά και μόνο για να το δείς...

  2. I want to believe. In a way I'm sorta like you. A lioness and a true romantic at heart. The fur babe though, oh that fur, has been burned so badly, that it makes you so cautious.

    These days I'm like this phase of Carrie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdR-vMnQDsk&feature=youtu.be

    Never felt the za za zoo. Well, at least when I thought I had it, it turned to be a lie. And it has let me down ever since. A deep dark part of me wants to believe, but reason won't let me.


  3. Δεν είναι urban myth το za za zoo, ούτε οι πραγματικά ευτυχισμένες σχέσεις. Εγώ πιστεύω σε όλα, και στην τύχη και στο πεπρωμένο και στις επιλογές μας, όλα παίζουν το ρόλο τους. Απλώς το ζαζαζου αλλάζει στην πορεία όπως αλλάζουμε κι εμείς. Μην μείνεις με έναν άνθρωπο που δεν θέλεις μόνο και μόνο για το βόλεμα αλλά μην έχεις συνέχεια στο νου σου ότι θα βρεις κάποιον τέλειο.

    1. Τύχη, πεπρωμένο, επιλογές. 3 little words, 3 huge concepts :)

  4. Αν δεν υπάρχει το ζα ζα ζοο, όπως το λες, στην αρχή τότε πότε θα υπάρξει και πως θα αντέξει μια σχέση τη φθορά του χρόνου; Εννοείται ότι στην πορεία ξεθωριάζει αλλά χρειάζεται και υπάρχει όπως λέει και η Τζόυς πιο πάνω.

  5. Συμφωνώ και εγώ με την Joy. Το ζα ζα ζοο χρειάζεται και ναι αλλάζει στην πορεία. Ίσως γιατί γνωρίζεις τον άλλο καλυτερα και άλλα πράγματα προκαλούν το ζα ζα ζοο πλέον. Κάποιος τέλειος δεν υπάρχει αλλά αυτό δεν σημαίνει κιόλας ότι δεν μπορούν να συνδυαστούν ο έρωτας, η αγάπη, η κατανόηση, το πάθος. Ίσως λίγος συμβιβασμός χρειάζεται αλλά όχι στο σημείο του βολέματος.

    1. Μα δεν υπάρχει 'το τέλειο'. Το za za zoo είναι αυτό που σε κάνει να νιώθεις τέλεια με ένα μη-τέλειο άτομο.