If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die.

Πέμπτη, 6 Νοεμβρίου 2014

One Woman Show

One of the things that makes me really proud about my house, is the fact that a lot of stuff in here, were assembled by me. Me, myself and I. Furniture, light stands, the freaking wall, curtains. Yeap, I put a lot of these things together, myself.

That's why I say "my house" and I feel it to the bone.

I've always been a very independent and self sufficient spirit. I've also been an outspoken one. I grew up in house where it didn't matter if I was a boy or a girl because I was brought up to believe in and respect equality. I grew up in a country that respects and believes in equality, gender-wise, sex-wise, religion-wise. Therefore, I have learnt to respect others, but I also demand respect back.

In my work environment, I often feel that I am competing against my gender. As if I have to prove that because I am a woman, I can be capable. And I believe I have been doing pretty well so far. But at times of upheaval, I feel that my skills, my motives, my personality even, come into question. As I said, I'm an outspoken confident individual. Which is great if you're a man, but if you're a woman, these characteristics are often met by scrutiny.

If I go in a meeting and they don't like what they hear, my mental or hormonal stability are questioned. If I have ambitions and work (keyword, work) to achieve them, I must be money driven or sleeping with the boss. And in cases were I express my anger or disapproval, I'm just a woman that over-estimates herself.

In the above cases, if I were a man, we'd probably get into a heated argument for 3 minutes, before opening a bottle of scotch and toasting each other.

Of course I cannot change the world. I'd be a fool to even consider myself capable of doing that. However, I have a choice; and I choose to be me, stand up for what I believe in, even in cases where it will backfire. Because if I succumb once to whatever stereotype they think I should fit in and stay put, I'll just be opening the road for them to keep on doing it.

I demand respect. But I understand that it's something that is earned. And noone respects a pushover.

And God knows I've never been one.

So here I am, wondering what tomorrow will bring. Feeling insecure, but confident in what I have done and how I have handled it. It disappoints me that I have been doubted because I'm not one of the boys. But for the past 9 years I've been a one-woman-show in a man's world.

And I think that says a lot about me.

6 σχόλια:

  1. honey, that's life wherever you go. Whatever you do. Okay, maybe not whatever, but in most cases, that's it. We have to fight to gain respect. And yea, I love that I get some leeway sometimes because I am a woman, but the truth is, that shouldn't make me happy. Me doing a good job shouldn't make others surprisingly pleased. I don't want accolades because as a woman, I did things "like a man." But it will take ALOT for women to be respected and seen straight off the bat in the same way as men. In my kind of law (I am a lawyer), there is a famous case about a woman who claimed to be discriminated against because she wasn't feminine enough, and yet to survive in her job she had to act like a man - that was how she could get ahead. The court ruled that stereotyping women was wrong - and it was discrimination. But you don't see a major change, not really. And so we are stuck fighting for ourselves and our rights. But keep your head high - because you CAN succeed, and you are. And it will be on your terms, because you deserve it. Not because you are a woman acting like a man.

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    1. Well I certainly do not act like a man; I merely act like a professional and human being. But sometimes, you see a difference in response, depending on whether you are a man or a woman from your peers and/or bosses even. That is what I find disturbing and that's what I won't tolerate.

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